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About Deviant Member Simon HanssonMale/Sweden Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
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Statistics 488 Deviations 42,720 Comments 52,474 Pageviews

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I do not favor the "Fav n' run" idea, I do only favorite work which I believe deserve it. But, I do always favorite work containing my characters.

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Avatar: Springtrap by Se05239
Avatar: Springtrap
The game series called "Five Nights at Freddy's" is one of the few games I ever come into contact with that scared me out of my pants and underwear. I thought it fitting to make myself an avatar of Springtrap, which is the antagonist of the third game of the series. 
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Rest In Peace, Runar! by Se05239
Rest In Peace, Runar!
13 year old family cat passed away the other day. Planned on drawing him but I gave up as anything I drew just violated his image.
Kudos to my sister, Churry, for taking such a fine photo of him. 

RIP Runar 2002 - 2015
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Thought I would update my journal since it has been a while and the best way I could think of doing that is by writing about what is happening in my life at the moment.

Let me just start by saying that I feel incredibly bad. Not physically but mentally. I am down, depressed and tired. 
Most of this negativity comes from my economic situation. I am unemployed since almost 2 years back now. The money I get for being longtime unemployed is really bad too.
I can describe my situation like this; I can afford breakfast and a few liters of gas per day and break even.
This has been my "life-style" for months now and there is no signs of change.

The creative side of me has taken a severe hit from all of this too. I am incapable of drawing. In fact, the mere sight of my tablet or sketchbook makes me see red. There are feelings of absolute rage.
My head is often filled with various ideas and expansions of my stories but it is empty now. Except for one little idea that still swirls around. It taunts me greatly and I get frustrated whenever it surface and makes an appearance. 

The sad fact is that I am having an existential crisis. I lie sleepless every night for hours valuating my life and it always ends up as "wow, you suck man." Every thought is black. Thoughts of the future and past alike. All black. Everything. There is not a single light in my life at the moment. I would most likely try and consult a psychiatrist if I could afford it, it would be the third year in a row if I did, but my current situation doesn't allow it.

Also, I know that most of you watchers, if not everyone, won't bother to read this journal beyond its headline but dA and its journal are the closest things I have for something similar to Facebook. It feels like reason enough for me to use the journals to tell everyone how I feel, even if you do not care one single bit.
Thought I would update my journal since it has been a while and the best way I could think of doing that is by writing about what is happening in my life at the moment.

Let me just start by saying that I feel incredibly bad. Not physically but mentally. I am down, depressed and tired. 
Most of this negativity comes from my economic situation. I am unemployed since almost 2 years back now. The money I get for being longtime unemployed is really bad too.
I can describe my situation like this; I can afford breakfast and a few liters of gas per day and break even.
This has been my "life-style" for months now and there is no signs of change.

The creative side of me has taken a severe hit from all of this too. I am incapable of drawing. In fact, the mere sight of my tablet or sketchbook makes me see red. There are feelings of absolute rage.
My head is often filled with various ideas and expansions of my stories but it is empty now. Except for one little idea that still swirls around. It taunts me greatly and I get frustrated whenever it surface and makes an appearance. 

The sad fact is that I am having an existential crisis. I lie sleepless every night for hours valuating my life and it always ends up as "wow, you suck man." Every thought is black. Thoughts of the future and past alike. All black. Everything. There is not a single light in my life at the moment. I would most likely try and consult a psychiatrist if I could afford it, it would be the third year in a row if I did, but my current situation doesn't allow it.

Also, I know that most of you watchers, if not everyone, won't bother to read this journal beyond its headline but dA and its journal are the closest things I have for something similar to Facebook. It feels like reason enough for me to use the journals to tell everyone how I feel, even if you do not care one single bit.

deviantID

Se05239
Simon Hansson
Sweden
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Comments


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:iconsmilehkitteh:
SmilehKitteh Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Professional Writer
Hey man, sorry to hear you're going through so much financial crud at the moment. =\ I wanted to let you know I hadn't forgotten about your story chapters despite my very large absence. And granted I read that you were kind of upset about the whole artistic endeavors n such, but I still do intend to look at those. I've just been back to back at doctors quite literally @.@ I went to three doctors today and one yesterday then almost every day of the previous week I was also at some. Tomorrow I go in for another awful procedure =u and then next monday I'm off to an appointment that will be a 10 hour trip o3o
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:iconse05239:
Se05239 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015
Do not worry about it.
You can ignore the chapters, I will not continue them. 
Urgh, the doctors in your country are freaking lame, you know. If they were any level of decent, they would have figured the issue out by now.
Reply
:iconsmilehkitteh:
SmilehKitteh Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2015  Professional Writer
I really wish they were more competent. This tail bone thing is just killing me. Has really changed my life =u not htat my stomach issues haven't. But tailbone I can't drive, I can't sit normal, sitting odd still hurts a lot, and I limp and hop around like I'm about 80 years old. But they all tell me I'm fine and to deal with it. It's just so ugggggh. Even heavy duty pain meds don't really relieve the pain. Then they keep giving me steroid injections (like they did again today) and I'm sensitive to them. A steroid is what put me in the hospital last year for 3 days D| So I get reaaally sick for a couple weeks. This is the third injection, the other two didn't do anything and this one they put too high and missed the area of pain ono It was a diagnostic for a nerve blocker but they missed the nerve....They jabbed me with like 4 needles too and as i'm sure one could assume, needles in the middle of tailbone--through it for thatmatter, is not at all a pleasant place to have such things. And now they think its a great idea (again) to try and just pull it out to where it should be with their hand.. =I ANd somehow no one has noticed for over a year and a half that my tailbone curls in. two doctors recently have stated it looks odd and turned in. Now others are argeeing but their idea of a cure is to grab it and try an yank it out even though the muscles will just drag it back to where it is... ene I am just so frustrated with all of this. They refuse to do certain things and yet have no idea what to do amongst their own ideas. And they're so stubborn. I tell them what kind of pain it is and a lot just ignore it in favor of their precocieved ideas that don't work. All the while I'm getting drained of money, made to feel even more sick and in more pain. It's so frustrating.
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:iconse05239:
Se05239 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2015
Why not just remove that tailbone all together? That is what I am thinking.
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(1 Reply)
:iconthesniper2:
TheSniper2 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015  Hobbyist
Hello again. How've you been doing these days?
Reply
:iconse05239:
Se05239 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015
Bad. You?
Reply
:iconseanmcchapman:
seanmcchapman Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thanks for the luck on the project. It's gonna be a biggy. Can't wait to see how your set of comics come out :) want a link to it later?
Reply
:iconse05239:
Se05239 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014
My set of comics?
And yes, I would like a link or whatever to the youtube page where these are going to be uploaded.
Reply
:iconseanmcchapman:
seanmcchapman Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
Alright no problem. Might be a while but Ill get it to you :)
Reply
:iconjest-a-note:
Jest-a-Note Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014
Happy birthday! I hope you have a great day.
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